In Her madness there was magic Ecstatic Heka forged Her being A tempest woven from the universe Became Her stained shroud A holy testament of ascension Loamy chaos engulfed my own descent My heka thrusting fierce spears Against the deathless Eye Delivering blindness and truth Now taking up Her garments My own wildness is quickened ~~Feral Goddess, A. Green-Muilenburg
I have become the undead
My heart neither loving nor alive
It’s beating eclipsed by the void
This soul, a stranger in the flesh
Has come ravaged into darkness
I seek not to escape from this prison
For in the eternity of my madness
Chaos let’s you dwell here
If only in an illusion
~~ Feral Goddess, A.G. Muilenburg
My dragon scales have become ruffled of late. I feel all puffed up like an angry cat. The sea of madness has risen so that I am seeping brine through my skin from the deep these days. As I walk this path of Aset this path of grief and despair I have decided to make treaty with insanity and enter the gates of hell, with regal head held high daring chaos to dance with me. In my descent into the Duat I could care less if I find salvation or am washed clean in my search for the beloved. I am hurting and I am hunting – – as surely as the leopard watches from concealment, strategizing my move then rushing into the open with paralytic scream to immobilize that which I wish to bring down; this is how I pursue my demons; on fire with madness for my weapon and oblivion watching my back.
I find in this sweet demented haze chaos is an ardent lover, whispering to me secrets of the void, the ancientness of destruction; the lullaby of Kali herself with overtures of the bloodlust of Sekhmet. Caressing the deepest parts of my soul – inflaming me with the desire to annihilate all things and start over or swim in the intoxicating embrace of nothingness for a time. For this chaotic lover I have left all sensibility behind. My objective is staring me down daring to engulf me in its own being and I am not adverse to this. This demon has mocked and betrayed me; demanding satisfaction at the hands of the mad; I will not be deterred or swayed in the execution of my mad heart’s desire. The dance of destruction and dining on my enemy’s heart shall be fitting of Kali and Sekhmet as well.
Suffice to say I am doing some Magical working this week as I am focusing a lot of my energy and attention there. It’s a work that has needed to be done for some time and I am hopeful once its accomplished I can move on from the travesty that demanded the necessity of such a working. Anesthetizing the wound and removing the poison – by any means necessary. Besides scars are perfect roadmaps telling a story without words.
Asking about the status, timing and outcome of my working
Status – King of Cups – being generated, connecting, creating
Timing – 3 Cups – good fortune in next 3 months
Outcome – 5 Swords Winn at all costs. walk away when the fight is done . Take back power but beware could lead to hollow victory